Going white… My path to accepting my hair

When I was a teenager, I loved experimenting with makeup and hair colour, and thankfully my mom was okay with me doing so, even if she didn’t understand it (she was never a big makeup person). I quickly found that I didn’t like foundation or blush as I had quite sensitive skin and many of the inexpensive drugstore brands would make me break out. However, I began a lifelong love affair with lipstick, nail polish and hair colour; and to a lesser extent, eye colour.

Between the ages of 13 and my mid-40s, I’d coloured my hair just about every colour and shade under the rainbow, natural or not, from white blonde to blue black to Joker green (that one was a mistake, it was supposed to be dark teal). And by my late 20s, had mostly settled into shades of mid-dark auburn, with the occasional black or purple for spice. I even went back to my natural shade a couple of times, once at age 20 and once in my mid-30s, both when I had a short pixie haircut so it was easy to grow out.

Unfortunately, that first time when I was 20, I noticed that I had some white hair… at 20! I so wasn’t ready to go white at 20 (and neither of my parents started to go white or gray until their 40s so I wasn’t expecting it). When I grew out the colour in my mid-30s, it was basically to see how much white I had but I still wasn’t ready so the experiment didn’t last long and soon I was auburn again.

Then the pandemic hit and I was one of those lucky enough to work from home. And it seemed like the perfect time to grow out my colour again, although this time it was mostly because I didn’t see the point in colouring my hair at the time. It was a different experience this time, not because I was a bit older (I was) but both because I had started off with chin length hair (and didn’t get a haircut for more than a year due to the pandemic so the hair grew out with the colour) and I had oddly coloured my hair fairly close to my natural shade the last time I coloured it so it grew out fairly seamlessly, except for the white… which really stood out. And the more it grew out, the more I liked it! Especially after I was finally able to get the coloured (and damaged) ends cut off.

Fast forward to now and I still haven’t coloured it, except for the occasional temporary purple wash out colour in my white, and I surprisingly like it (I really wasn’t expecting to). It’s also not as white as I was expecting, given that it’s been almost 30 years since I started going white. The majority of the white is in two spots – my “Rogue” streak (think the character Rogue from X-Men) which is about a third of my bangs on the right side, plus more of the longer hair on the right side framing my face; and a streak at my left temple (which is much less visible as it’s often covered by other hair).

And my natural colour, that isn’t white that is, is lightening. I used to have a warm, dark chestnut brown with red highlights that wasn’t quite auburn (hence my lifelong love affair with auburn hair). Now, I’m more of a mid warm chestnut brown with red highlights… and white streaks. The chestnut brown has lightened at least two shades and since I watched this happen to my mom’s hair, I expect it will continue to lighten.

Not colouring my hair for a bit more than three years (the last time was December 2019) means my hair is more healthy, softer, and tangles less easily. All of which I expected – less chemicals should equal healthier hair. What I didn’t expect is that my curls are just a bit curlier now. And the white is significantly straighter… more of a light wave. Now, I had known for years before going natural that I had two patches that always seemed a bit straighter but didn’t realize it was because that patches were white until it grew out. I’m curious to see if this continues if more of my hair goes white or if it’s just the two areas that are currently white.

It’s been an interesting transition but I’m happy that I’ve accepted my white (and it is white rather than gray or silver). I’m not saying I’d never colour my hair again but probably not as I like how it looks and feels now.

Have you gone white or partly white? How was your transition?